Just A Little Bit Of Magic

Yesterday Shannon and Bayley kidnapped me for a couple of hours and took me to see the new Cinderella.

There has been some heart wrenching, gut churning, sleepless night kind of stuff that is going on in the Deason home. It didn't take long before something struck me and I spent the rest of the movie contemplating what lies ahead.

When Cinderella's mother was dying, Cinderella was told "Have courage, be kind." She was told "Where there is kindness, there is goodness. Where there is goodness, there is magic."

I'm not gonna lie. I can use some magic right now. Remember kaleidoscopes? A kaleidoscope is made from mirrors with bits of glass along with beads and/or pebbles. When you look through the opening of the kaleidoscope, light reflects on the mirrors and colorful patterns are created.

That's how pain and stress feel right now. What I see are the shards of color that represent each "feel" that I am feeling and I am not able to see the final image. Beauty is beyond my scope right now.

Sigh. That sounds so dramatic, doesn't it?

Pain is an interesting thing. It encompasses all thought. It takes on a living form and shrouds all that is good. You eat pain. You sleep pain. Days become weeks that become months that become years and before you know it, it feels like a lifetime of pain.

I don't have courage anymore.

I imagine I'll "pull up my bootstraps" and get it all together again. However, right now, I want my fairy godmother to wave her magic wand and with a "bippity-boppity-boo" mice get turned into horses, pumpkins become beautiful golden carriages and my tattered dress becomes a beautiful gown fit for a princess.

Cinderella was prompted to:

“See the world not as it is, but as it could be if you see the world with care and kindness and just a little bit of magic.” 

I hold my own magic wand. Right?

And The Angels Close Their Eyes

It's hard to take responsibility for our own choices, isn't it? I hear the blame game constantly. Victim. It's not an honorable title. Isn't it more inspiring to hear the story behind overcoming abuse or neglect or molestation? We all carry hurt on our shoulders. It's not permission to act on that hurt. It's a license to state vehemently that "the cycle ends here".

When my kids were young, I tired QUICKLY of lame excuses for bad actions. I found myself saying "What were you thinking?" or "What the crap happened?" or "Why did you do that?" but what really threw me into a tailspin was knowing that they knew better.

They DID know better. I had told them over and over and over from the beginning of time not to do something, touch something, say something, be something. So I knew they knew. Dumb kids, right? It didn't take me long to figure out that I needed to change my tactic. I went with "Tell me what you did wrong and what you're going to do to fix it." As they got older and able to write, I would make them write an essay on that subject. Oh man. To say they hated that punishment would be an understatement.

It was my belief that if they knew that I knew the specifics of the whys and hows they wouldn't get away with trying bad behavior again because I KNEW that they knew better. They told me so.

The other day I was at the High School to pick up Jaden and Tim McGraw's Two Lanes Of Freedom was in my cd player. The song Number 37405 was playing.

He turns in them prison clothes, and stands there at the fork in the roadAnd mama prays and waits while he decidesAnd the angels close their eyes...

I think that angels are closing their eyes right now. I believe that they are waiting for our world to step up and let humanity prevail. Simply make the change in your own life. You'll be surprised how it changes your world.