No. I am not hurt, sick or dead. Just working like a crazy woman. I do love Spring, but getting the yard back in order is a daunting task. My energy has been devoted to that and I'm slacking.
I HOPE to be back in the swing of things and blog more. Heaven knows I have PLENTY to say!
A couple of weeks ago, Shelby came over. She has been trying to come once a week to do some cleaning for me so I don't go absolutely-terribly-down-the-rabbit-hole crazy. We cleaned, then she just sat in the chair and we chatted.
Shelby has been really pushing me to write affirmations. The thing I like about chatting with her about this self-help stuff is she is very forthright in saying "this was hard for me." She's willing to talk about how uncomfortable and weird it felt. MANY times it's EXACTLY how I felt right before I quit.
And I quit. Often.
Why is it that we let our insecurities get in the way of our success? I think I'm ALWAYS in my own way. To be honest, it frustrates me.
Mark called me the other day. "Don't tell me NO. Get on your podcast app and listen to Joe Rogan interviewing Naval Ravikant. It's episode #1309."
I have to admit. I listened for a bit and said no more. I do Podcasts while I work, but I don't "hear" them. I just need the noise. I turned it off, called Mark and said "I tried. Not into it".
He was pretty mad.
He talked about it that night.
He talked about it the following night.
"If you had listened to that podcast..."
Last night Mark took me to get my brand new I-am-so-excited prescription sunglasses.
Anyone struggling to see will share my excitement.
After we went to dinner, we drove the back streets of Utah county. I am not able to drive any longer, so when I say this was a treat? THIS WAS A TREAT.
We are weird (I know) and old (I know this too) and since we had been talking about meditation, Mark turned on the app he downloaded about meditation, I closed my eyes and meditated. Right there. In the car.
It was JUST what I needed.
Mark turned on that podcast. I was captive. I had to listen. I'm grateful and better for doing so.
Naval Ravikant is the most intelligent man. He speaks what he knows and knows what he speaks.
"We are nothing. Yet, we are everything."
We are, aren't we?
I fall in the "nothing" category if you look at the entire universe. Yet, I fill the "everything" category at the very same time.
Only I walk and talk and experience and have passion and frailities and experience that I call my own. I share what I can, however, nobody REALLY knows my pain - my joy - my triumph - my accomplishments - my failings - my insecurity - my struggles - my hopes - my dreams - my longings.
Og Mandino said it best in Chapter Eleven of The Greatest Salesman in the World. The Scroll Marked IV.
I am nature's greatest miracle.
I AM nature's greatest miracle.
Do you hear me?
I AM NATURE'S GREATEST MIRACLE.
Say it. Loudly. Mean it. See it. BE it.
Shelby said something that truly resonated with me. "The universe WANTS you to be happy."
I started (restarted) my affirmations.
Every day I read out loud how wonderful I am. Yep. It's weird. Its awkward. It doesn't ring true all of the time.
However, I do find myself gravitating towards a "better" me.
I'm happy. TRULY happy.
I'm at the beginning of liking who I am. I have spent my entire life struggling and emerging into this adult. I have FOUGHT to become who I am. I have conquered beasts determined to bring me down, and yet I don't believe in myself? Now THAT'S a contradiction.
So...
I challenge YOU to begin believing in yourself. Write down the things that resonate within. I began with things I KNOW and I wrote things I have heard other say about me. Every day believe in yourself. EVERY SINGLE DAY.
My Affirmations (so far):
I am SUPER creative. My book will soar and my dream will come true. (My Seasons of Utah book)
I am a good writer.
I am STRONG.
I am beautiful.
I am the glue in my family.
I mean so much to many people.
I am.
