To The Moon and Back

On October 2, I awoke, checked my phone and had a message from my friend, Debi.

"Please call me."

I knew right then, mom (Shirley) had died.

Do I need to say again how I hate this age I'm in? Everyone that I have known my WHOLE life is passing on. I know. I know. The circle of life and all that crap. Have I ever told you that I'm a selfish girl and it's ALL about me?

Shirley came to be with Mark's dad while I was in Norfolk, Virginia. Mark knew her from his childhood, but I had never met her. When Mark got out of the service, we moved from coast to coast - leaving behind Virginia and landing in Seattle to live with Dad and Shirley until Mark found a job and we could get in our own place.

I don't know why I worried. It was wonderful. We chatted, played games and cooked ferociously. She was so cute with Tyson and loved him immensely.

Shirley had a great sense of humor and could light up a room with her smile.

Being a mom was top priority to this gal. When Jaden was born, she would come every single day to photograph him. "Back in the day" smart phones didn't exist. She had to grab her camera, take the pictures and at the end of a week when the roll was finished, it was sent in to be developed. When she got the photos back, she rushed to my house clutching the unopened envelope. We viewed the pictures and were astounded over the changes my boy experienced in such a short time.

I find myself thinking about love and how it differs with each person. Not the actual love, but how love is shown. I'm bothered that if it is not shown in the way we think it should be, then fences and boundaries are set in place and - at times - love is rejected. 

I think we are so lucky to be loved. My feeling is we all carry demons and monsters - some carry them inside and some monsters rear their head in an outward showing. BUT we each have them. Forgive mine and I'll forgive yours. 

Shirley loved Facebook. She kept in touch with friends and family. I used to giggle with my kids "I think Grandma is stalking me. She comments on EVERY SINGLE post." She did. Every one. I found myself looking for her comments. I loved what she would say, loved her support and on really lucky days she would send me an individual message.

"I love you to the moon and back." 

I was lucky to know her. I am lucky to be loved by her. 

Thank you, mom, for your smile. Your wisdom. Your laughter. Your joy. Your gracious love for people. For the books we shared. For your unfailing support. For the life you gave when it was so hard to simply "be". I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU - to the moon and back.

It Should Be In The Papers

I've not stuck to my word. Admittedly, 2019 was NOT my favorite-of-all-time. I didn't blog my happy thoughts and seemed to become lost in my anger and confusion. 2020 brings new beginning. New hope. AND new resolve to blog again. Verbal vomiting on an empty page is good for me, and since it's ALL about me... right? You get the picture.

A pretty awesome, really cool and super happy event happened in 2019. My Shelby married my entirely-handsome-and-calm-and-gracious-and-oh-so-wonderful Justin Roach.

I have always had an affinity to newspapers. I used to read each column ferociously. I love the written word and miss hearing the thump of the daily paper hitting our driveway.

When I lived in Ojai, I delivered newspapers every single day. I got up at 2:30. Drove to the newspaper "office", tied each newspaper, loaded them in my car and took off on my route. I threw the paper through the windows of my Grand Prix. Left and right. Left and right. With extreme accuracy my papers would land in the driveway of each subscriber.

I am ALWAYS cold. Because my windows had to stay down, I would bundle in layers. Did I mention I was pregnant with Tanna? I was. I would bundle up my big ol' belly and head into the darkness. About half-way through the route, I had to stop the car and get out to get the paper over a super high fence. Madam would always greet me. Madam is a German Shephard. I would pet her and talk to her. After some time, Bart (the owner) began coming out of the house to chat with me.

I thoroughly enjoyed our visits. Madam was one of the dogs that starred in Hogans Heroes. It's a show I watched as a kid. There was a tunnel under each dog house of the German Shepherd guard dogs (there were two of them). In the episode, the dog house would raise up, (dogs too) and you would see Hogan or one of his "men" peering around. It always brought a chuckle.

When I moved, Bart and his wife, Jane, gave me a picture of Madame. We remained pen pals for a while, but I let time slip away. I searched online for them a while back, but I had no luck.

Back "in the day" newspapers had a section for announcements. The reader was able to view specifics and pictures of births and engagements. If it was a celebrity, they would provide a write-up of the actual wedding - details that caused your imagination to run wild.

At 4:45 on Saturday, November 2, the bride, Shelby, escorted by her father, Mark, glided down an aisle lined with greenery, candles and cut wood.

The bride was stunning in a low backed gown that deceptively looked made of lace, but was instead a printed fabric that was both slimming and left cumbersome by the wayside. Her makeup was impeccable and was applied with skill by Justins sister Sarah. Tessa flew in from California and did a stunning job styling the hair of the bride. Shelby's hair swept to the side in a long braid in order to highlight the backless dress and accommodate the simple and elegant veil.

Her father was dashing in a slim fit black suit, white shirt and slim black tie.

Justin waited patiently under an arch made of greenery, with flowers, wood, lights and candles. The setting was stunning but only complimented the nervous groom dressed in a slim fit black suit, white shirt and black tie.

Everyone stood while the bride walked to the loving arms of her groom. Hailey proceeded the couple and tossed rose petals in the aisle. The audience wept while Mark handed his baby to the guy that promised to cherish the girl for life.

The ceremony was performed by a fellow firefighter that goes by the name "Mudflap". Mudflap sported a full-on mullet accented with a bright purple shirt. The speech was well rehearsed. It was funny, tearful and full of love. He pronounced Justin Roach and Shelby Deason husband and wife.

Following the ceremony, the venue was emptied of chairs and replaced with tables covered with greenery and beautiful flower arrangements. Chips and salsa were served in buffet style while family was swept outside for pictures. Street tacos, rice and beans followed and then the toasting began. Mark began the festivities with a tribute to the bride and groom. He wrapped up his speech by playing guitar with Mat Deason and singing "Nothing Compares To You."

More toasts were given and dancing followed. A live band serenaded while onlookers tore up the dance floor in moves that would put Michael Jackson to shame. The Daddy-Daughter dance was to "True Colors" by Cyndi Lauper and the bride was overcome with emotion. That girl adores her dad and knew this was a big moment.

Justin grabbed his own mom to dance while twin, Josh, took a bow to the mother-of-the-bride and asked her to dance. Before the song ended, Josh and Justin switched places and I got to feel the strength of my new son-in-law's arms wrapped around me secretly promising to hold my girl up when she can't walk. Justin twirled me and dipped me with finesse while the crowd cheered. (We secretly stole the show).

Can you see it? It was beautiful and fun and heart warming and festive and a wonderful time was had by all. Congratulations my dear kids. I'm so proud.

Meet Justin and Shelby Roach. Together they will conquer the world.