My Happy Book

Years ago, Mark and I were divorced. We remarried on New Years Eve several years ago and have FINALLY found our "happily ever after". It was a difficult road to go down, but I now see us sitting in our rocking chairs on the front porch and enjoying the grandkids' antics together. And it makes me VERY happy.

There was a time when the sailing wasn't very smooth. To say it was a rocky road would be an understatement. Divorce was difficult. Being a single mom of four little one's wasn't too easy. Leaving the kids at daycare and going to work every day sucked. Finances were a joke. Every day was a struggle and I remember being sad all the time.

I love to read. I make time to read every single day. I'm always in the hunt for a good book and somehow, I had found myself at Barnes and Nobles Bookstore. I was wandering around looking at the new books that had just been released and ran across a book by Barbara Ann Kipfer. It's titled 14,000 things to be happy about. The back of the book read: A quirky, compulsive, irresistible list of all the little things that make us happy. I opened the book and it was exactly as stated. It was a list.

I read:
ice cream sandwiches
red leotards
a baseball game going into extra innings
wet babies
Bugs Bunny
the beach in the fall

I smiled. I took the book to the register and purchased it. Within a couple of days I had read the book cover to cover. 612 pages of a list. Silly, I guess, but I needed to be reminded of the little things that bring happiness. That book changed my life.

I found myself thinking about that book all the time. I began to notice some of the things that were listed in the book and that those items brought a secret smile to my face.  Problem was, it was someone else's happiness. Some of the items applied to me, yet some didn't. On the list were items like: yarn lampshades. What the heck are yarn lampshades? True, some things I related to, but there were other items that left me wondering. I wanted to be reminded of things that made ME happy.

I went back to the bookstore and bought a cute book with blank pages. I began creating my own book. I wrote the title So Many Things to be Happy About on the inside cover. I put the book in my nightstand drawer and I wrote in it every single night.

I found myself changing. My nightmares lessened. The nights I cried myself to sleep decreased dramatically. My heart was lighter and I began to pay attention to my day again. I began to look for things I could write in my happy book. I spent more and more time looking at the good and less time focusing on the bad. I found happiness again. I was surrounded by it. It hadn't gone away. I had just forgotten to take note.

I don't write in my happy book as often anymore. I guess I don't need it as much as I had in the past. I feel like I have gotten back on track with myself. I still keep my book in the nightstand and every once in a while I open the pages and reminisce on my happy thoughts.

If you're feeling sad, lonely or have somehow lost your way, you just might need to rediscover your own happy thoughts. Get a notebook, a scratch pad or a blank book and put it by your bed. Take note of the happiness in your life. It just might change your world.

Unless...

Mark was on the road a week or so ago and during some downtime he had, he pulled up Netflix on his computer and looked for a movie to kill some time. He ended up browsing the documentary section and ran across a movie that piqued his interest. It's called 180˚ South. He really liked the movie. He told me that it changed his way of thinking and that I needed to watch it. I told him "Oh yeah, I'll have to watch it." But, what I was really thinking was "I'll get around to it sometime." And that's where I left it.

Then, Mark was home last week and suggested that I turn on the movie and watch it. So, I curled up on the couch and prepared myself for the inevitable boredom that was about to engulf me. I'm not a big fan of documentaries. To me, most documentaries are sad. I guess they can be inspiring at times, but they are usually about someone/something that is oppressed and I just get upset. So, for my own self-interest, I just stay away from things that make me sad.

Except, this movie was REALLY GOOD. You need to find it. You need to watch it. I liked it so much that I made both Tyson and Goose watch it. They agreed with me. Great movie.

IMDB.com says The film follows adventurer Jeff Johnson as he retraces the epic 1968 journey of his heroes Yvon Chouinard and Doug Tompkins to Patagonia. It was more than that. True, the adventure was pretty awe-inspiring, but it was the beauty and the simplicity of the film that struck me. Our earth is splendid. And we're killing it.

You and I probably won't see the effect of our choices. But, I promise you, our grandchildren and their children will experience fall-out from the decisions that we have put into play. I'm not naive enough to think that corporations will stop building, or that we will stop the cultivation of the natural resources surrounding us.

But I do think quite often about waste. I think about how we are in charge of our own decisions. Nope, I can't stop some of the big stuff, but I can control what I do.

The following statement is from the movie: "It's easy for us to blindly consume, when we don't see the effects it has on other places. The hardest thing in the world is to simplify your life, it's so easy to make it complex. What's important is leading an examined life because most of the damaged caused by humans is caused unintentionally, I think. And in response to people saying,'You can't go back.'  I say, 'Well what happens when you get to the edge of the cliff. Do you take one step forward or do 180° turn and take one step forward? Which is progress?' The solution to many of the world's problems may be to turn around and to take a forward step. You can't just keep trying to make a flawed system work."

 “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It's not.” 

-Dr. Seuss 

You've Got Mail

As per my feelings about technology and human contact, checking the mail is a task that I do not enjoy performing. It's ALL junk mail (including the bills). I stand at the trash can and throw away all I don't need, check out the balance and due date of what's left, sigh (heavily) and put the bills away for payment later.

It's a tedious process that rarely brings me any satisfaction.

EXCEPT yesterday I was sorting through the mail and there was a HANDWRITTEN envelope in the pile.

I'm the type of girl that NEVER reads the end of the book. I save my favorite bite of food for the last. I don't eat dessert first. I didn't cheat and find out the gender of my kids when I was pregnant. I don't give away gifts. My kids don't get to decide or choose or pick what their getting for Christmas or birthdays. I hate when people guess their gifts (Mark is so good at this that I won't even talk to him about gifts) and I don't try to guess my own gifts. I'm all about the element of SURPRISE. So, true to form, I set the envelope aside and hurried through the sorting process at hand. I'll tell you, it was dramatically less painful because I was excited to open my envelope and see what was inside.

I threw away the junk mail, discarded the useless part of the bills, and stacked them to be taken upstairs to my desk. The moment had finally arrived when I could see who had dropped me a note in the MAIL!  Not an email, or a text, or a facebook message. I got a REAL letter with a stamp and EVERYTHING!

I thought I recognized the writing and the return address. I wasn't positive and the sender had not put a name with the address. It was a PO box out of Salt Lake.

I slid my finger along the edge and opened it and VOILA I had received a card from my gal-pal-sister-friend Lynnette Richardson. She had taken the time to go somewhere, purchase a card, fill it out and drop it in the mail for ME. All this was to let me know that she "treasures me beyond words". Heck, I'm STILL grinning about it. Made my day, my week, my WHOLE month! It's going into my memory file to be found all over again and re-enjoyed at a later date.

You're secretly jealous aren't you?

I, for one, have learned my lesson. I'm going to quit complaining about the lost art of human contact and get out there and buy a card here and there. Not just birthday cards, either. I'll do the "just because I was thinking about you" card. I'll address it, stamp it and drop it in the mail. Pay it forward, right? 

Lynnette and Linnette

Mean People Suck

Last night someone got into the jeep and stole my purse. There was only $5.00 in the wallet. My sunglasses that Mark got me for Christmas were in it. The $100 gift card that Tyson and Diana gave me for my birthday was in it. Of course all my ID, debit card and those stupid reward cards that are from every-store-you-set-foot-in were in it.

I guess not much was truly lost. I'm MAD, though. I have lived in this neighborhood for 15 years now. I'm nice to everyone I come in contact with. I was naive enough to think that I was "safe" around here. I wrongly believed that if you treat others with respect that they will treat you equally.

This is the second time in a few months that someone has come on our property and taken something that doesn't belong to them. The first item taken was the power washer that Mark used all the time to clean the truck. Some rotten human being walked all the way to our garage and decided they needed it more than we did.

Now it's my purse. Weird how I feel violated.

I need to find a balance. I need to figure out how to NOT be naive and a sucker for STUPID people and yet not lose my "trust" in human nature.

Maybe we live in a world full of self-righteous, self-serving individuals after all?  I don't know. What I do know? Mean people suck.

I sure do miss that

I told you I would periodically update on my blog about how the man-oh-man-I-need-to-help-Mark-make-money dilemma is coming along. I have updated and am keeping current on the facebook pages for my graphics and pictures. I get sporadic looks, but so far? No takers.

I'm frustrated, I guess. I'm working on a web page right now. Hopefully it will help to be able to direct people to an actual web page. I have GOT to find out how to do web design. I say design, but I have that stuff figured out, but html? flash? cs? what the crap is that?

My partner in crime, gal pal, friend FOREVER Lynnette Richardson has FAITHFULLY supplied me with a constant stream of links to potential jobs. I have responded to more than I can count. This has been going on for over a year. Between her efforts and my efforts? Not a single interview. What?

My resume' looks good. My art is good. My computer skills are SUPER. Yet... (sigh)

I always do well once I interview. I'm a "people person". I enjoy shaking hands, looking someone in the eye, showing my portfolio, talking about the process behind creating. I like the banter and friendliness that comes with meeting new people. But, I can't seem to get that far.

We don't have human contact anymore. Need I say?  I am STRUGGLING with that. I pull up the job specifics, email a few short sentences to sum up my work, attach my resume' and a few of my designs, then send it off. I don't get a response.  I don't get a phone call. There is not a reply email. A letter of acknowledgement isn't popped into the mail. Heck...I don't even get smoke signals in receipt of the application.  What happened to "thank-you for applying", or "we like your work, but..."? It drives me nuts.

I say quite often that technology will be our downfall. Don't get me wrong...I love that I have found and now have contact with friends and acquaintances that I have missed TERRIBLY. But, it seems to me that countless hours and billions of dollars are spent inventing ways to do things faster, easier, better, but it all lacks the human factor...the handshake, a smile, a hug, a conversation. Faster? Definitely. Easier? I would say that it probably is. But better? NO.

I enjoy the handshake, the smile, the small talk. (sigh) Yep, I sure do miss that.

So...About That Road...

Everyone knows the poem by Robert Frost. You know the one. It's the poem about traveling on the road less traveled.

I thought about this poem last night. I woke up re-thinking the poem. It's weighed on my mind enough, that I thought I had better write about it and BE DONE with my obsession.

I guess the story goes: A long time ago, in a land far away...

When Goose was an infant (I TOLD you it was a long time ago) Mark and I went for a few days to hike the Sespe in California. We borrowed packs and lightweight sleeping bags, loaded the packs with what we would need for 4-5 days and off we went. Ohmygosh, I'm not kidding when I say that my pack weighed more than I did. I'm sure I looked a sight. In addition, I HATE shoes and I wear them as little as possible. About a quarter of a mile into the hike, off went my boots, and I did the rest of my journey barefoot.

Mark is a very adventurous soul. He is the first one off the beaten path. I, on the other hand, am perfectly content with following the marked trails and going exactly where I am told to go. Hence, Mark sees wonders and beauty that are not shared by many, and I see what everyone else gets to see. Still beautiful, but I think Mark has it figured out.

Sticking to proper characteristics, we followed that path MY WAY for a bit when Mark saw a small, rocky, barely there trail and OF COURSE that's the way we went. We trekked through dust and rocks, weeds, mud, steep hills and spooky drops. Then, there it was, a BEAUTIFUL camp spot right beside an AMAZING waterfall and pond. I can't describe how perfectly spectacular it was. Peaceful, tranquil, cool...man it smelled WONDERFUL.

My point is, the main trail led away from the falls. I'm sure I would have had some "wow" moments if we had continued in the direction of the signs. After all, why would they put up signs that led to something un-pretty? However, by taking the path that was more difficult, I witnessed astounding.

The choices we make put us on different paths. That is what Robert Frost is talking about. When we are faced with challenges and controversy the "easy out" is to walk away. We quit. That is the road most traveled. It's a quick fix. The more difficult road that has hills and valleys sure doesn't look so appealing. That's when the "now" doesn't matter. That's when we MUST think about what lies ahead. In the end we all want SPECTACULAR.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 

Just Bring A Pepsi

“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” 
― Maya Angelou

For some dumb reason I got in my head that Eleanor Roosevelt said this. Guess what. Wasn't Eleanor. It was Maya. I guess it doesn't matter who said it. It's a good "say". One of those things you tuck away inside and pull out when it's needed.

It has been necessary for me to utilize the wisdom of this quote multiple times in my life. Seems like I have been placed on this earth as the constant student. I always have something to learn.

When we decide to open our hearts to love someone, I find it works best to learn to love them individually. In order to love individually, it is necessary to find out what their version of "I love you" is.  Sometimes it's a note. Sometimes a hug. There are times that call for more drastic measures...a visit, a phone call, dinner, movie, flowers...might be a conversation.

We all have something that makes us go "Aw...I feel so important." Because you are, you know. You ARE important. It's so wonderful to hear it, so in turn, you must not be afraid to say it. And if the conversation is such that the "other guy" isn't getting what you are saying? Well, then you be the one to change how you are communicating your love.

See. Listen. Hear. Feel. You can't go wrong. If you're scared? Say it. If you're lonely? Say it. If you're happy? Say it. If you love someone? Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it.

Tune in to those you love. Communicate your needs and listen to their needs. Write a note. Send a card. Go for a walk. Giggle at dinner. Buy a candy bar. Bring balloons.

Not every moment calls for a dozen roses. In the end, it's the simple things that matter. It's the simple things that make the good and it's the simple things that add up to bad.

As for Me? Just bring me a pepsi. That's MY dozen roses.