I Am

I make sweatshirts for my family each year for Christmas.  The tradition began 4 years ago when we had absolutely NO money for gifts, so I came up with the idea to make the kids a sweatshirt. I did. They were a hit.  The tradition began and I spend many hours developing a design that will "one-up" the year before.  I mull over my ideas for several months before I decide what I want on the sweatshirts.  The story for last years' shirts goes as follows:


Goose is a wildland firefighter.  Not only is he a wildland firefighter, but he is a Lonepeak Hotshot. Goose worked for this. He worked hard. Goose had spent a few years wandering around Provo not sure what he was going to do when he "grew up".  He was working at laying concrete flooring. He worked in the weather and worked for a company that didn't value him or his work ethics. He spent the winter either working in the cold or collecting unemployment because the company didn't have enough work to keep him busy. He was a lost soul. He was unsure of what he wanted and lacked the confidence to pursue anything more than what he had.  He was driving me crazy. He had no money, and his future seemed hopeless.  I called Goose one day and told him that I was putting him in school. I told him that he was going to be a wildland firefighter, that he could change the degree if he wanted to, but he had to know exactly what he wanted to do and that he wasn't allowed to drop out for any reason. He agreed and his future began.


Goose rocked school. The family spent countless hours quizzing him, testing him, helping him research and typing up endless quizzes and papers for him to study. We each held our breath on test days, sometimes waiting up late so he could call after class and let us know how the testing went.  We counted out push-ups and sit-ups. We timed runs. We each gave heart and soul to the success of Goose. Graduation came and he graduated with a solid A-.  As the saying goes, the crowd went wild.


Alas, our joy was short lived as the struggle to find work began, and Goose was consistently passed up for employment. It made me physically sick. I don't do well when my kids are disappointed/hurt. We worked and worked at finding him employment, but to no avail. He just wasn't going to be hired.


Enter Brett. Brett is a friend of ours. He is a wildland firefighter and was hired to work on a crew in Salt Lake. As fate would have it, there was a member on Brett's crew that was moving to another crew which left an opening on Dromedary. Brett told his boss about Goose, the boss called Goose. We got the job.


When you certify to be a Wildland firefighter, you receive a Red Card. When Goose earned his Red Card, he came to the house, walked up to me and handed me his Red Card and said, "Here's your card Mom, you earned it."


That was my "light bulb" moment. Right then, I realized how our family is not made up of individuals. We are who we are because we support each other and believe in each other. It is this support system that we each rely on when we face tough times. And we as a family form a bond together that cannot be penetrated.


Each of us are part of a fraction that make a whole.  Because Shelby dances, I am a dancer. Because I create, we all create. We not only share the good, but the heartache as well. If there is loss, disappointment, pain...we each share that as well.

So, I made shirts. I used words that I have heard describe a family member at one time or another. I am a whole person because Mark, Tyson, Diana, Goose, Tanna, Shelby, Jaden, Hailey, Bill and my soon-to-be-daughter-in-law Daulton make it so. We are Deason. And I say that with pride.

(The shirt front.)

(The shirt back.)