She's Gone

She died last night. I got a phone call from Aunt Sue at about 8:00 pm. Becky wasn't doing well, and she probably wouldn't last the night. I don't usually feel helpless, but that is the only way to describe how I felt. Helpless to change the fates that struck my family. Helpless to offer the correct words to Aunt Sue. I wanted to bawl. I didn't. I wanted to go shake something - REALLY hard. I didn't. I didn't really know what to do...say...feel.

Of course Aunt Sue blessed me with her sweet spirit, she asked if I would like to come be with them. I did. I had wanted to ask, but I was so terribly afraid of imposing on such a sacred family moment. But, the only thing Aunt Sue had to say to that was "You're family. " And I left to her house.

On the 20 minute ride to Salem, I thought about how ironic life can be. When Sue called we were whooping it up with a birthday party for Tyson. He turns 28 today. I celebrated the life of my beloved son while Aunt Sue was mourning the passing of her beloved daughter. Aunt Sue tells the story that Becky had come into this world wrapped in pain (Becky had broken her collar bone in birth) so can someone please explain why she had to leave this world wrapped in pain? 

Sue shared the story that at about 11:30 yesterday morning, Becky asked Sue if it was time to go. Sue told her that "she could go if she was ready." Becky said she was ready. 

Aunt Sue, Uncle John, Christopher (Becky's 15 year old son), Jennifer (Becky's sister), Rachell (Becky's sister) all surrounded her bedside when she died. It was 11:55. She passed amidst laughter and tears. And through it all the only words she could hear were "I love you."