Later, Shannon met Mark's brother Tim and their story was written. Shannon became family.
Without going into detail and revealing information that is none of my business to reveal, Shannon is currently separated from Tim and quite possibly looking at divorce.
Thus begins the topic of my conversation with you.
Tanna was a baby when I met Shannon. After Shelby was born, Shannon and Tim were one of the first in the family to meet her. Shannon has sent me surprise gifts in the mail, spent vacation days visiting our family, moved to Utah to be closer to family. Jaden and Devin were born within 6 months of each other. We went to movies every Friday night for a few years. Spending every Saturday at the pool with the kids was routine. We have laughed and cried and yelled and then cried some more together. Our friendship has been tried and tested and we came out on top. We are sisters. I will say that again in case there is some kind of misunderstanding. WE ARE SISTERS.
I have anguished and pondered and worried and fretted about Shannon. Trust me. I understand divorce. Don't forget that Mark and I took a "break" for a few years while we tried to "figure things out." I know that, at times, it is a better option for the parties involved. EXCEPT what about the rest of us? What about the family members that sit in uncomfortable silence waiting to find out what the end result is going to be?
A couple of Saturdays back, my super amazingly wonderful friend, Diane, brought me some chicken soup. Not just ANY chicken soup, mind you. HOMEMADE chicken soup with HOMEMADE noodles and hand cut veggies. OHMYHECK it was nummy nummy NUMMY!
Oh yeah. Back to Shannon...
Shannon happened to be visiting. Introductions were made between Diane and Shannon when I popped in and said something to the effect of "Shannon used to be my sister-in-law, but she is going through a divorce. She's not just a friend though. HEY! I know. She's the mother to my nephews." Giggles all the way around. Guess what. Shannon thought and thought about that stupid statement and didn't like it.
I look back now and I understand why it hurt her feelings. She's not upset at me. She's upset at circumstance.
What happens when the Aunt to all your kids that has been to ball games and graduations and weddings and baby showers and hospitals and surgeries and Thanksgiving dinner and Easter Egg hunts can't come to family events any longer because of some STUPID technicality like different blood coursing through their veins?
Years ago Dawn decided that all the Deason girls needed to get together. Regularly. She divided us into partners. Dawn has Shelby, Carissa is with me, and Shannon is partnered with Tanna. Randi and her daughter, Camryn, are in California, so they have yet to experience the awesomeness of our group. Daulton and Diana and Denise have been added. Hailey has to wait until she is 16 in order to be inducted into TRUE Deason Chick-hood.
I created a Deason Chick logo. Everyone has their own personalized chick. Dawn's chick carries a purse and has high heels. Carissa's is dressed as a cheerleader. Shelby's has a flower in her hair and high heels to represent the ballroom dancer in Shelby. Tanna's sports a bikini and sunglasses. Daulton's carries a violin and is wearing a skirt and necklace and Diana's chick has a feather (Duh. She IS an indian after all) and a flower pot at her feet. Shannon is the cowgirl of our group so her chick has a cowboy hat and boots. I gave my chick boxing gloves. Denise just became part of our group so her chick is yet to be developed. I'll get busy making her a cool chick that represents who she is.
I put our logo on shirts and keychains, blankets and bracelets. I gave my girls Christmas ornaments one year with their own chick on them. My chick adorns my jeep in a hot pink vinyl cut out. Being a Deason Chick is a pretty cool thing.
We have camped together. Crafted together. Danced together. Got in a fist fight (I'm not lying) together. We have gone to dinner and plays and dance productions. We laugh and giggle and tell stories and laugh some more. It has bonded us in many ways that just "normal" family get-togethers could never have accomplished.
Last weekend the Chicks all gathered for steak dinner (thank you Uncle Mike barbecuing for us) and to attend a dance production in Salt Lake City. After the festivities, we had a sleep over at Carissa's house.
We were all in the front room chatting when Shannon shared the story of being introduced to Diane and how it weighed on her. She is worried that we are going to somehow forget about her or leave her out or let her go. NEVER. I'll just get that out RIGHT NOW. NEVER. I know she worries. I understand her concern. But I'm not the only one saying that it won't happen. We ALL agree that Aunt Shannon is a chick to stay. We love her. We need her.
Shannon made a pic that (I think) she keeps on her desk. It's a pic of all the Deason Chick gals at one of our gatherings. Shannon typed on the pic:
Blood Makes You Related. Loyalty Makes You Family.
I realize how difficult this is for her. This divorce is uprooting all that Shannon has known for many many years. I've stated that my family is a force of spirit. I have to say that the ENTIRE Deason family has strength beyond measure. Shannon is part of that.
Shannon will learn to fly with her own wings. I do know that. She'll find a rhythm and it will become familiar and safe. Time will pass and much of this hurt will fade. I know she doesn't believe in tomorrows' promises right now, but they will come.
I will find a way to make sure that she celebrates events with us. The most important task at hand is assuring Shannon and the boys that, although they feel displaced right now, they are Deason. And Deason's don't leave anyone behind.
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