Waiting On The World To Change

The other day Shelby called me on the way home from work. Her day had gone a bit South of epic and she began processing. I've learned that Shelby typically finds her own way to an answer, so I sit, shut up and listen to her ramble back and forth until she lets go of her anger and lands. It's usually right where she needs to be looking.

"I just wonder what I'm doing to add to the problem."

There you go. That's my girl.

As my kids grew, arguments increased. You know the silly stuff. "She's wearing my shirt." "He doesn't clean anything." "Why do I always have to help?" "Why?" "How Come?" "What for?" "But HE... "But SHE..." "Why do you ALWAYS pick her side?" "You need to tell HIM..." My frustration level grew as they became more vocal and argumentative. I found I was constantly running interference and my questions were directed to the OTHER party in the argument.  "Why did you do that to her?" "Why did you hit him?" The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Right?

One day I changed my focus. I've never looked back. I only address the complaining party. "What can you do to help fix it?" "Be a part of the solution. Don't create another problem." "Haven't you learned that the only person you can control is yourself?"

I've said it before. It's my belief that in an argument both parties are correct. Disagreements typically stem from emotion and how can your feelings be wrong? If yours aren't wrong, why is it that what the other party is feeling is in the wrong? Doesn't go that way. Sorry.

What you are doing isn't working? Do something different. Investigate. Study. Ask. And, yes, sometimes BE QUIET. What you have to say isn't nearly as important as the person you are saying it to. Silence can be golden. Be golden.

Knowledge is power. When knowledge turns inward, the power is held in our own hands. Trust me. I need all the power I can get. I would guess that you do too. Arrogance isn't power. Judgment isn't power. Arguments aren't power. Fear isn't power. Change. Belief. Hope. Humility. Sacrifice. Love. That's what our souls desire. You want power? Search your soul and be your own change. You'll find that your change will inspire the change you wish to see in those that surround you.


Mahatma Gandhi said:

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

Be it.