I Think I'll Go To Boston

I must like music. I (once in a while) read back through my blogs and there are quite a few times I write about a song that has struck me. Here we go again. Another blog about another song.

In 2005 the rock band Augustana released a song "Boston" on their album called "All The Stars and Boulevards". I don't know where I first heard it. It has played in the background on some television shows. But I think I heard it on the radio. However it came to be, I heard it, loved it and bought it. I put it on my iPod which is on "shuffle" and periodically the song comes on and I fill with whimsical thinking.

"In the light of the sun
Is there anyone?"

I just went with my gal pals/sisters-in-law to Cabo San Lucas. Oh what fun we had! No worries. No stress. No obligations. No timetables. No cooking. No cleaning. No laundry.

Lots of fun. Lots of sun. Lots of pool time. The ocean. The sun. The sun. The sun. Oh how I love being in the sun.

I came home and what the crap happened? Everything is falling to pieces and it feels oh-so-out-of-control. It seems the more I work on fixing "things" the farther the puzzle pieces seem to fall. And I feel so very alone. 

My kids were students at Franklin Elementary and one of our most favorite teachers IN THE HISTORY OF EVER was Miss Sutton. Oh how we love that lady! Shelby used to "babysit" her dogs when she left town. They were the best of friends and Miss Sutton will forever remain a soft spot in the heart of the Deason family.

One of the times Shelby was asked to keep track of the dogs and house, Miss Sutton was headed home to bury her father. She was oh-so-sad. I tell you, it's my biggest fear. Age is creeping up on my parents and their time is getting shorter on this earth. Therefore, when "parents" leave and kids are left behind I weep right with them. I cry for my beloved friends, and I cry for myself - out of fear of what is yet to come.

Miss Sutton and I were sitting on her couch talking about her dear father that she loved so much. She was telling stories of youth. Of her dad. Of her home. 

As the stories progressed, Miss Sutton began to cry. And cry. And cry. Through her tears she whispered, "I tell myself to BE STILL, but it is so hard."

Through the years I have thought about the words "Be still." At times I have emulated stillness. Other times I SHOULD have stilled my tongue.

These last few weeks those words have echoed in my mind. Over and over like a mantra. Be still. Be still. Be still.

And I wait. For patience. For forgiveness. For gratitude. For kindness. For hope. For power. For love and grace and peace.

"I think I'll go to Boston I think that I'm just tired I think I need a new town to leave this all behind.
 I think I need a sunrise. I'm tired of a sunset...

 Boston. Where noone knows you're name."