2020 brought triumph, tragedy, sickness, health, quarantine, gatherings, funerals, births, happiness, tears, joy, pain, motorcycle rides, and loneliness. I watched television this last month more than I have in my entire life. I cried. I smiled and I laughed. I set goals. Some I kept. Some not so much.
I hear people saying they are excited to give the year the boot. Sayonara. See ya. Bye-Bye. But maybe, just maybe, I'll miss some of it.
My family worried beyond worry that I would get COVID. Guess what? I did. My ENTIRE family was sick. I was very sick. I worried that I'd die. Then, I WANTED to die. I didn't die. I always tell my kids, "Quit being dramatic." SOMEONE needed to follow their own advice. I took my vitamins like a champ. I ate. I drank tons of water. My work was BEYOND patient with. It has been over a month. I'm not 100% yet, but I'm on my way and feel ever so much better.
Christmas came and went. My family was magical. I cherished my kids and shared the grand babies excitement. This year I designed shirts and placed the years pics in a movie to the song "Run" by Pink.
Here's the bloody, bloody truth
You will hurt and you will lose
I've got scars you won't believe
Wear them proudly on my sleeve
I hope you'll have the sense to know
That sadness comes and sadness goes
Love is hard and play life loud
It's the only thing to give a damn about
Take the best of what I've got
And then you know no matter what
Before you walk away
You know you can run
Run, run, run
Back to my arms, back to my arms
Run, run, run
Back to my arms
And they will hold you down
All year I have worried that my family truly doesn't realize how much I love them. Love is a strange word, isn't it? It's so small with a huge meaning. I love my family. I love them. I LOVE THEM. I do. So I movied, and designed and bought them each the board book "Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You" by Nancy Tillman. It's a beautiful book. EVERYONE should read it and feel that kind of love.
Spring was beautiful. The birds reappeared and sang to me. We have a bird feeder in our backyard. It's right by a tree. The birds fill the tree and eat to their pleasure. If I open the window above my desk, I can hear them chirping. One day, Mark and I were sitting in the hot tub. The bird food was out. 50 or more birds flew to the bush by the tub and stared at Mark until he finally got out and filled the feeder.
Summer brought sunshine, sprinklers and motorcycle rides. Mark had put a wow-its-so-amazing motor in my bike. He COULD NOT wait to ride it. He gasped and grunted in HE-MAN style when he pulled it out of the garage. Honestly, I just rolled my eyes at him.
I'm not a big Autumn fan. I do like the colors. I always say that "I hate Sunday because I despise Monday and I hate Fall because I despise Winter." This year, I decided to embrace each season and see the beauty and wonder of each. Fall brought warm days, cool nights, popcorn, movies, drives, and peace. Mark and I took a weekend and rented a cabin by Zion. He pushed me in my wheelchair on a path by the river. It was warm and sunny and beautiful.
One day we took off in the truck and he drove me up a canyon. We stopped by a creek. The sun warmed my shoulders, the scene was beautiful, the creek bubbled and gurgled and Mark read to me from the book we were reading at the time. I left refreshed and rejuvenated.
Winter has brought snow and the peaceful evenings in the silence of the snowfall. My world feels like a snow globe. I look out my window to see the flakes on the trees and grass. Instead of cursing and bemoaning misfortune, I see wonder and magic.
I keep a candle on my desk. "BEAUTIFUL GIRL, YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS." I can. You can. We can. I keep it as a reminder to fight hard. Remember the good. And to ALWAYS know that I will win.
Welcome 2021. I hope the year brings peace, family and love beyond measure. This year has big steps to fill. Better get started.
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