About Today

Today was Beck's funeral. I know funerals are supposed to be somber occasions. Don't get me wrong...I am so very sad that Becky died. It was awful to watch her siblings have to say goodbye. It's just all wrong that Chris lost his mother. It is outrageous that Aunt Sue and Uncle John have to bury their daughter. I DO get the meaning and the sadness and the tragedy behind funerals. I really, really do.

I don't know if it is good or bad, but I get so excited to see everyone that I become a bit giddy. I love to laugh and talk and tease and renew relationships that I have missed so very much. So I talk and talk and talk and talk.

My extraordinarily awesome cousin Mike and his oh man I love her so much wife, Sue, my ever so amazingly wonderful Uncle Pete and one of the coolest Aunts a gal could ever wish for, Ellen, met at my house and we all rode to Salem together.

I got to see cousins that I haven't seen in MANY blue moons and they have KIDS of their own. How did that happen? They're just little tykes themselves. There is so much catching up to do and such little time in which to do it. They probably ALL think I'm the cousin that has lost her marbles, but I enjoy it terribly.

It's WONDERFUL to see them all again. I am reminded how much I adore my family. My WHOLE family. To love and be loved back. Wow.

She's Gone

She died last night. I got a phone call from Aunt Sue at about 8:00 pm. Becky wasn't doing well, and she probably wouldn't last the night. I don't usually feel helpless, but that is the only way to describe how I felt. Helpless to change the fates that struck my family. Helpless to offer the correct words to Aunt Sue. I wanted to bawl. I didn't. I wanted to go shake something - REALLY hard. I didn't. I didn't really know what to do...say...feel.

Of course Aunt Sue blessed me with her sweet spirit, she asked if I would like to come be with them. I did. I had wanted to ask, but I was so terribly afraid of imposing on such a sacred family moment. But, the only thing Aunt Sue had to say to that was "You're family. " And I left to her house.

On the 20 minute ride to Salem, I thought about how ironic life can be. When Sue called we were whooping it up with a birthday party for Tyson. He turns 28 today. I celebrated the life of my beloved son while Aunt Sue was mourning the passing of her beloved daughter. Aunt Sue tells the story that Becky had come into this world wrapped in pain (Becky had broken her collar bone in birth) so can someone please explain why she had to leave this world wrapped in pain? 

Sue shared the story that at about 11:30 yesterday morning, Becky asked Sue if it was time to go. Sue told her that "she could go if she was ready." Becky said she was ready. 

Aunt Sue, Uncle John, Christopher (Becky's 15 year old son), Jennifer (Becky's sister), Rachell (Becky's sister) all surrounded her bedside when she died. It was 11:55. She passed amidst laughter and tears. And through it all the only words she could hear were "I love you." 

About Becky

My cousin is dying. I'm not kidding. She has cancer about everywhere you can have cancer. Her liver is failing. Her kidneys are failing. Her body is failing.

Becky and I were never real close growing up. I don't know how old Becky is, but I do know she is quite a bit younger than I. I remember when she was born. I remember holding her as a baby. I remember her playing in her house when we would visit.

After I got married, I heard once or twice about her, but I didn't go to her graduation. I wasn't there 15 years ago when her son was born. I didn't celebrate her marriage nor mourn her divorce. Would it be horrible for me to say that she just never played a significant role in my life? It sounds so crass, doesn't it?

I'm closer in age to Becky's older sister, Jennifer. I remember playing with her when I was younger. Jennifer is 4 years younger than I am, so we had more in common. She probably doesn't know it, but I always thought of her as my pretty cousin. She was more girly than I ever was. I remember being envious because my Aunt Sue made these really cute dolls and Jen had plenty of them. I always thought it was so cool that Sue would do that for Jen.

Of course, time, life, husband and kids got in the way and I haven't kept contact with my family like I should have.

I'm mad that I have done that. I'm disappointed in myself - in my actions and I want DESPERATELY to turn back the clock and have a do-over.

I would tell my Aunt Sue just how wonderful I think she is. I would tell my Uncle John that I always knew he loved me because he would tease and harass me - and that made me feel special. I would tell Jennifer that she is one of the most beautiful human beings that I know. I would be close with the cousins I vaguely remember and they would each know that I love them. And I would spend time getting to know them and letting them know me and my family.

I have been blessed with wonderful family. I have Aunts and Uncles that warm my heart. I have cousins that are more like siblings. I don't share the same blood with them. But, I assure you, I would give my blood to them. And I would do ANYTHING to take the pain away from Becky and her family.

Keith, the UPS guy

I've told this story this weekend to anyone who would listen. Since it's still on my mind - and since you are a captive audience - I'm going to write about it.

I have a set of neighbors that don't seem to like me much. Maybe they think I'm wonderful, I don't know, but based on the two years they have lived next to me, and the fact that I've about given up on them simply waving "hello" to me and the fact that they'll see me coming and hurry and turn their backs to avoid making eye contact with me, I think it is safe to say they aren't fans of the Deason clan.

I guess that's okay. I miss my old neighbor. I used to love stepping outside and being pleasantly surprised to see Brit or Jake out. We would wave, say "hello", sometimes have a conversation, but they never failed to put a smile on my face. I was thrilled when they got engaged, cried when they got pregnant, fell in love with their baby boy and full out bawled when they moved.

I don't know why the current homeowners don't find me fabulous. The dislike is compounded by the fact that their house has a small basement that has been converted into an apartment. Those renters don't like me either. I haven't done anything to make them mad. I keep my yard tidy. We don't have wild parties on the weekend. We mind our business. But our "hello" waves are seldom returned.

Saturday I was weeding my flower bed that is connected on one side by their driveway. I was digging and weeding when I heard their gate click. I turned to say hello when I realized the neighbor-gal had walked right behind me and was heading back into the house. I was so mad but all I could do was laugh.

I shook my head in dismay and continued with my gardening. A few minutes passed when I heard the sound of a stroller nearing. I looked up in time to see a young gal approaching. I recognized her from church that my neighborhood attends. I smiled and said "hello". She looked at me and turned her head the other way and ignored me.

WHAT THE CRAP?

I have raised my family to be friendly and helpful to all they meet regardless of the color of their skin, their financial place in society, any political standings and especially regardless of anyone's religious preferences. I have always felt it was important to really see the human being behind all the facades we inevitably build around us and judge a person on their character. Where I go wrong is expecting the same treatment.

Sigh. I'll get off my soapbox and back to the story I intended to write.

Okay, so the weeding continued. I was angry, hurt, dismayed, astounded. You name it, I was feeling it. I was furiously tossing weeds into the trash can when I heard the UPS truck pull up. Out stepped the delivery guy without a package in his hand. He was walking towards me, so I pulled off my gloves, brushed off the dirt and went to meet him halfway.

A couple of years ago I was taking Hailey to feed the ducks. I swung into the bread store to get some bread and was chatting with the gal at the check-out when the UPS guy came to make a delivery. We all ended up talking for a few minutes, but since then, I see him regularly and we smile and wave.

The UPS guy walking towards me was THAT guy. I know I must have had a VERY confused look on my face. Because, well, I was CONFUSED! He stuck out his hand and said, "I see you all the time, you always smile and wave at me. I saw you out here and it dawned on me that I don't know your name. I'm Keith."

That random act changed my whole day.

The Thrill And The Agony

Oh how I love the Olympics! I have waited somewhat patiently in anticipation for the beginning of the 2012 Summer Olympic Games and have not been disappointed one tiny bit. I have watched interviews with past Olympians and remembered fondly their Olympic moments. I have felt the excitement of the current Olympians. I love that the world gathers together for this short amount of time to compete. I exuberantly cheer for the Red, White and Blue. Of course I LOVE when we win. I study the faces of the athletes as they raise OUR flag and play OUR national anthem. I see pride for our country and pride for the accomplishments. The camera will land upon the weeping faces of the family members in the crowd and they, too, are bursting. The family, the athletes and fellow attendees (and some of us at home watching) whisper the words to our national anthem and for a brief moment we are all united.

I remember watching the Olympics as a kid. I revered Nadia Comaneci. I stayed rooted in front of the television to catch a glimpse of her. It didn't matter that she was from another country. She was perfection in motion.

Maybe some of you are too young to remember the television series The Wide World of Sports. It was a sports anthology that ran from 1961 to 1998. It highlighted athletic competitions. It always began with:

Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport! The thrill of victory...and the agony of defeat! The human drama of athletic competition! This is ABC's Wide World of Sports!


I remember letting those words sink in...the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. I would watch the athletes, scanning faces to capture a glimpse of their reaction to their performance.  I wanted to run faster, jump higher, tumble perfectly and perform fearlessly right beside them and feel that victory first hand. Of course, I'm not quick enough to get out of my own way, so...I watch.

I still scan the faces. I get so excited for the winner (even if they aren't from USA). The thrill of victory is tremendously contagious. I usually root for the underdog. Sometimes that works out pretty good for me and other times...not so good. That's when the agony of defeat rears its ugly head. You almost feel the disappointment emanating through the television screen.

The 2012 Summer Olympics will soon be something of the past. Athletes will begin training for 2016. There isn't much time for looking back. Their sights will be set on the future and the winnings and failures will soon become a memory. Maybe, as Miley Cyrus sings in her song, "it's all about the climb."

Emery County Spartans

One of the pretty-awesome-had-a-great-time events that I attended this summer was Mark's 30 year High School Reunion. Yup, the Emery County High School Class of 1982 gathered for fun and activities at the Carbon Golf Course. We golfed, laughed, gathered for lunch, attended a social and dinner.

I graduated in 1983, so I'm a year behind the "old geezers" that gathered, but since our High School was pretty small I knew everyone and had many memories with most of them.

Because I am younger, these were the "Gods" of the High School. You know, the older, more experienced, DEFINITELY cooler kids of the school. Ah, the Glory Days, huh?

During the social, my friend Dave Owens, had put together a tribute to those that had passed away. I was shocked to hear how many of our classmates were gone. 8 from the class of 1982. I'm not sure how many from my class. I know it will be too many.

It was fun to see all that attended. It was pretty cool to "reacquaint"ourselves with those we knew so well just a few years ago. We reminisced on the old times and spoke fondly of the "now times". If you have a reunion coming up, GO! We've ALL gained weight, lost hair, developed wrinkles, grey hair and saggy rear ends! It wasn't a beauty contest. It was a chance to renew and revive. To speak fondly of the days when we ran faster, hit harder, sang louder, danced ferociously, laughed hysterically, got in "big trouble" from teachers, gained an education and prepared for our future. We LIVED to see these people daily. And then, all too quickly, it ends. Responsibility slams us upside the head. Bills come, families happen and work devours our lives.

SO...go to your reunions. See your old friends. Talk about the impact teachers made in your life. Take a moment to think of those that passed before...both friends and teachers. Remember those that helped you become who you are - either by bugging the crap out of you or just loving you. Remember the good times and try not to forget the indestructible teenager inside of you.

Introducing the CLASS OF EMERY COUNTY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS OF 1982.

Back in the saddle

In case you've wondered where the crap I took off to, I've been out of commission for a while. Last month I spent a day with a bit of a stomach ache. The stomach ache eventually landed me in the Emergency Room where I was diagnosed with a terrible kidney infection. They fed me antibiotics through my IV, gave me some pain meds, slapped me on my butt and sent me on my way.

Two days later, I was right back where I started. OHMYGOSH I was in some terrible pain again. This time the Emergency Room did a CT scan and told me that I had three kidney stones about 1/4" big that needed to come out.

I was so miserable that they could have told me that they needed to cut my head off to help me and I would have readily agreed. Off I went into surgery. They found my kidney so infected that they couldn't get rid of the stones, so the doc put a stint in, gave me 2 weeks worth of antibiotics and sent me out the door.

I have been hobbling around for a month waiting for my kidney to heal enough for me to have the final surgery. I know my family was getting fed up with my whining and complaining about how "I can't walk", "It hurts to pee", "I can't lift that", "It hurts to pee", I'm tired", "It hurts to pee", "It hurts to pee", "It hurts to pee".  Did I mention that it hurt to pee? Well, it did.

I had to say goodbye to my longtime friend Pepsi Cola. Used to be whenever I needed a break from reality I would load up in the jeep and run to the local convenience store, see my friend Nik, and grab a Pepsi. By the time I made it home, I was rejuvenated a ready to conquer again. Sigh. Those good times are over now.

Somehow, my tiny brain has attributed pain to Pepsi. I think it's probably right. I guess that soda plays a big role in kidney stones, but I'm not kidding when I say that the thought of having a Pepsi makes me want to vomit my brains out. Yeah...it will be a long time down the road before I'll be able to stomach a soda again.

So, Friday I had surgery for the stones. Turns out I had 6 stones in my right kidney. One was the size of a pencil eraser. THANK GOODNESS for modern medicine. Doctor Platt went in there like he was playing Asteroids on Atari and blasted the crap out of them. Had some minor complications that landed me in the hospital overnight, but I'm home now and back in the saddle again. (Albeit, I'm riding side saddle for a bit, but I'm in a saddle nonetheless.)