It's All About Perspective

I have always believed that in a fight, both parties are right. I think most arguments are based on emotion, and how can you be wrong if you are hurt or angry or lonely or confused? I am always telling my kids "take the emotion out and deal with the facts". Usually the facts aren't NEARLY as overwhelming as the emotion of the moment.

Daulton and Shelby have been best friends for quite a few years now. Mark and I always pushed for Goose to date Daulton. She was such a perfect fit for our family. We joked with her. We teased her that if Goose wouldn't date her that I would dump Mark and she could marry HIM so that we could guarantee that she would be a Deason. I'm SURE she is grateful that Goose stepped up and proposed.

I really didn't know for sure if she was interested in Goose. We just loved her and wanted her in the club. At Christmas time a few years back Shelby and Daulton had tagged along while I ran to Sam's Club to get some pictures developed. Above my piano in my "Pooh" room I have a wall with an 8 x 10" photo of each of the kids as a baby. Directly below their infant picture I put a current picture of their happy faces.

I had gone to Sam's to grab their pictures so I could update my wall and when the girls pulled out the picture of Tyson I was going on and on about how handsome Tyson is. (Which he IS terribly handsome) when Daulton said "Yeah, Tyson is handsome, but (she pulled out the pic of Goose) Goose is HOT".

I was so excited I about wrecked the jeep.

There has been a standing rule in the Deason home. This rule was VERY STRICTLY established by my boys. There was to be NO dating of friends. NONE. The girls honored the code. They have NEVER dated the friends of my boys. On the other hand, Tyson is with Diana who happens to be best friends with Tanna and Goose is happily married to Shelby's best friend.

I told Shelby that Goose really SHOULD ask Daulton out. Shelby talked to Goose. Goose talked with Shelby. Shelby talked to Daulton. Daulton talked to Shelby. The stars all aligned and Goose was dating Daulton.

Then the storms hit.

Things became complicated in the trifecta of Goose, Daulton and Shelby. There came a time when things were terribly tense and difficult and hard for each of them. I was worried about all of my kids.

My back porch is directly below my bedroom window. We use my window to access my roof. I (forcefully) told the kids to get out the window and sit down. I needed to talk to them.

We sat on the roof of the patio and I made them each tell me what they saw. They saw the trampoline. They saw the neighboring yards. They saw the wishing well in my yard. They saw the playhouse. They each stated the different items that they viewed.

They were each correct.

I talked to them about perspective. I shared my belief that in most emotional situations each party is right and that it is up to us as human beings to see the other side.

I don't know how much impact I made. Somehow they worked it out and came to terms with the emotions that were boiling inside of each of them. Daulton married Goose. Daulton and Shelby remain best friends. Goose and Shelby's relationship is still cemented in love.

I think EVERYONE should climb up on their roof from time to time. I believe we should all look around and see the world with different eyes. I am convinced that if we gain a different perspective during difficult times that most of the drama melts away and love will replace anger and hurt and fear.

Climb on your roof. What do you see?