Except this time.
She got clean.
Drugs seem like a distant past now. I (at times) forget the stress and anguish and fear that enveloped me. The more time marches forward, the more dream-like (albeit nightmarish) the memories become.
To say I'm proud of her is an understatement. I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
I haven't had the best of weeks. Yes, It's only Thursday. New beginnings can be hard can't they? I lay in bed last night and re-ran the success of my family through my mind. Initially, I wanted to blog about my daughter. However, I found my thoughts turning to my entire family and I wanted to share a bit of each.
Here goes.
Tyson has had the kids over the last couple of days. I watch him as a father. He rocks this "daddy" business. As I watch MY little boy father his little Bill and Hailey, my heart fills with pride. I see the man in him come out in staggering proportion. Tyson is learning and growing into his leadership. And I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
The LonePeak Hotshots would be less Hot-Shotty without my Goose. The movie Only The Brave was released. Starring Josh Brolin, Miles Teller and Jeff Bridges, the movie is (according to IMDb) "Based on the true story of the Granite Mountain Hotshots, a group of elite firefighters who risk everything to protect a town from a historic wildfire."
I was so excited to go. I was going. I was going. I was GOING.
I didn't go.
I had gone to a different movie and the previews to Only The Brave played. I saw the firefighters dressed in the green pants and yellow shirts and bawled DURING THE PREVIEWS. Shelby was aghast. "You can't go to the movie."
The other day I was telling Mark how Goose worries me. He's in charge now. The crew looks to him for guidance and (at times) it scares me. Mark reassured me that Goose will not EVER put his guys in harms reach. And I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
Daulton begins a new job. She has been working her dream in a job with a Top 5 accounting firm. She has made a name for herself and I watch while other firms zig and zag to recruit Daulton.
This girl put herself through school and got her Masters in Accounting. People get their Masters Degree all the time right? I watched Daul go to school. I watched her self-discipline with wonder. The girl BECAME. There is no other way to describe her. She is the most humble person I know. I say that ferociously. DAULTON IS THE MOST HUMBLE PERSON I KNOW. And I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
I mentioned that Tanna is free of drugs. Have I mentioned that she is going to be "Mommy" now? Well, she is. Baby Tyson Trenton Jackson is due in a couple of weeks. We are having contractions, so I look to see him come any day now. And I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
As of Tuesday, Shelby is a student at UVU. She is about to finalize her degree in photography. She is creative and has an eye for the lens. Many have told me how good she is. She will be known for her hard work; for her ability to see beyond what is in front of her. She will rock the photography world. You just hide and watch. And I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
Jaden is beginning the end of High School. He has a lifetime ahead. EVERY SINGLE door is open for him to simply step through. His intelligence is inspiring and when he lassos his ability? Let me just say this boy will change the world. And I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
Mark is forever seeking new beginnings. He is fearless when faced with change. This guy exudes confidence in his ability to make things right. And I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
The world is full of selfishness and sadness and loneliness and heartache. You can hurt beyond understanding. When your eyes fall on the cracks and fissures in the landscape of life, there lies love and hope and belief. That's pretty cool, right?
It's a new day for the Deason family. Thank you Tyson, Goose, Daulton, Tanna, Shelby, Jaden and Mark for the gifts you so willingly share - for the new beginnings placed at your feet and your ability to make them a slave to your spirit.
And I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
I was so excited to go. I was going. I was going. I was GOING.
I didn't go.
I had gone to a different movie and the previews to Only The Brave played. I saw the firefighters dressed in the green pants and yellow shirts and bawled DURING THE PREVIEWS. Shelby was aghast. "You can't go to the movie."
The other day I was telling Mark how Goose worries me. He's in charge now. The crew looks to him for guidance and (at times) it scares me. Mark reassured me that Goose will not EVER put his guys in harms reach. And I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
Daulton begins a new job. She has been working her dream in a job with a Top 5 accounting firm. She has made a name for herself and I watch while other firms zig and zag to recruit Daulton.
This girl put herself through school and got her Masters in Accounting. People get their Masters Degree all the time right? I watched Daul go to school. I watched her self-discipline with wonder. The girl BECAME. There is no other way to describe her. She is the most humble person I know. I say that ferociously. DAULTON IS THE MOST HUMBLE PERSON I KNOW. And I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
I mentioned that Tanna is free of drugs. Have I mentioned that she is going to be "Mommy" now? Well, she is. Baby Tyson Trenton Jackson is due in a couple of weeks. We are having contractions, so I look to see him come any day now. And I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
As of Tuesday, Shelby is a student at UVU. She is about to finalize her degree in photography. She is creative and has an eye for the lens. Many have told me how good she is. She will be known for her hard work; for her ability to see beyond what is in front of her. She will rock the photography world. You just hide and watch. And I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
Jaden is beginning the end of High School. He has a lifetime ahead. EVERY SINGLE door is open for him to simply step through. His intelligence is inspiring and when he lassos his ability? Let me just say this boy will change the world. And I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
Mark is forever seeking new beginnings. He is fearless when faced with change. This guy exudes confidence in his ability to make things right. And I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
The world is full of selfishness and sadness and loneliness and heartache. You can hurt beyond understanding. When your eyes fall on the cracks and fissures in the landscape of life, there lies love and hope and belief. That's pretty cool, right?
It's a new day for the Deason family. Thank you Tyson, Goose, Daulton, Tanna, Shelby, Jaden and Mark for the gifts you so willingly share - for the new beginnings placed at your feet and your ability to make them a slave to your spirit.
And I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I believe. I have hope again.
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