One of Marks ever-most-favorite-teachers-of-all-time told him once that people don't want to hear about your kids. Mrs. Joe told him that in order to be a good writer you need to follow that rule.
Yep. I'm breaking all the rules. This blog is for Tanna. About Tanna. Because of Tanna.
Sorry Mrs. Joe. If you learned from me - as I adoringly followed you - I insist on doing things my way.
So, I'll write about Tanna.
When Tanna was still pretty young, I had a dream about my family. We gathered for Thanksgiving. The table was set. Turkey was sliced. Potatoes were mashed and pie was waiting. I looked around the room, chest was puffed with love and pride as I gazed lovingly upon each member. Sadness enveloped me. I realized Tanna wasn't there.
Years passed and I could not shake this dream. When Tanna "lost herself" for a bit, this dream came to the forefront and I was terrified that it meant she was going to die and not be at my table. I've calmed down a bit and have come to realize that for a few years, she WASN'T at my table. I WAS sad to not have her with me, however, I was NEVER overcome with loss. I STILL had a daughter. Alive.
The Deason wheel does not turn on a flat tire any longer. Tanna is home and my family is whole. Tanna brought the oh-my-gosh-he's-so-dang-funny, Jerico, with her and on the 27th of January, the cutest-baby-in-the-history-of-ever, Tyson, added to the Deason-family clan.
Tanna was the cutest, most-bestest little one, a ROTTEN teen, a WORSE young adult. Now? She's simply the bestest-most-awesome woman and cutest mother.
Every single day she sends video and pics of baby Tyson. She laughs at his antics, frustrates at his frustrations and swells with love when snuggles come her way.
Mostly, I watch her give of herself with time and love. I admire that selflessness. Jerico is a lucky guy. Tyson is a lucky boy. I'm a lucky mom. We are a lucky family.
My disease has brought challenges to this family. Tanna laughs when I laugh, cries when I cry, yells when I rage and lifts me when I cannot stand.
Have I ever mentioned that I love Tim McGraw? I do. However, climbing up my list of wow-I-really-like-this-guy singers is Dierks Bentley. Tuesday I was driving home from an appointment when the radio began playing his song Woman. Amen.
I'd lose my way and I'd lose my mind
If I faced one day on my own
I know I was saved
The night that she gave this drifter's heart a home
This world has a way of shaking your faith
I've been broken again and again
But I need all the cracks in my shattered heart
'Cause that's where her love gets in
Every night I should be on my knees
Lord knows how lucky I am
I'll never say near enough
Thank God for this woman, Amen
She gives me faith
She gives me grace
She gives me hope
She gives me strength
She gives me love
Love without end
Thank God for this woman, Amen
So tonight I will fall down on my knees
'Cause Lord knows how lucky I am
I'm gonna shout at the top of my lungs
Thank God for this woman, Amen
And thank God for this woman, Amen
Tanna, thank you for becoming the woman you are. I'm so proud of the mother you have become. I silently watch you learn and grow while taking the information needed to better your life. You will never be caged. Your free spirit is enviable. Always remember your strength. Your beauty. Your kindness. Your humor. Remember to use your words.
Oh yeah. Always remember how much I love you.
Happy birthday. I can't wait to see what you do with the year ahead.
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