All is right in the world

Mark, Jaden and I leave every morning at 7:15. Mark and Jaden head East towards the High School and I head West towards the freeway. When I get to the end of my street, before I turn right, I take a glance over the railroad tracks to make sure there isn't a car coming and off I go.

All winter as I looked over the tracks, I could see my friends' car warming up. I'm assuming she was warming her car to head to work. EVERY SINGLE TIME I saw her car, I smiled. The world just felt right. You know the feeling. Time is in sync and the stars are aligned correctly.

Rhonda has boys that grew up with my boys. Shelby and Matt Hinkley have been very good friends through the years. The Hinkleys have been a permanent staple in the growing up of the Deason clan. I consider them friends. 

Rhonda and I aren't the go-to-lunch-go-to-a-movie-go-shopping kind of friends. We're just friends. I think she is smart, beautiful, FUNNY, real, a great mom, and all around fantastically fabulous. And I'm guilt free when I see her.

I think we need those kinds of friends in our lives. At times there is so much pressure to "do". I think the "doing" is what I fail most at. I THINK about bringing cookies to new neighbors. I WANT to bring dinner to my Aunt that has cancer or my friend, Pat, that has cancer, or help my neighbor, Celeste, when she is out doing yard work with three little ones tugging and pulling at her trying to gain her attention. But I don't. I'm wrapped up in what I need to do. I juggle work and kids and hubby-ness and dogs and cleaning and gardening and personal time and sleep. Oh sure, I'll feel guilty and say that I feel like I should do more. I don't.

Therefore, I appreciate the smattering of people that are light and fun and free in our lives. The kind that share a smile, a kind word and unspoken support. The kind that when you see their cars warming up down the street, it brings a smile to your face and you know all is right in the world.

Sweaters For Chickens

As I stated in a previous post, I'm adopted. When I was little, I used to imagine what my birth parents were like. When I was super young, I had no doubt that they were in the circus. That was the coolest thing I could imagine.

When I met my family, I was super nervous. I worried and worried that they would find out the "real" me and run screaming for cover.

I met my dad. He hasn't screamed one time and he fills in the blanks of my biological make-up whenever I ask.

Many of my mom's side of the family live right in the same area as my dad, so it is up to them to fill me in on the how's and why's of the Vermeire's. I believe that I am VERY MUCH like them. And I really, really like that.

A few things have happened along our "getting to know each other" path and I have caught a glimpse of the true colors that flow through my blood. Every once in a while, I'll hear from my cousin, Brenda, in White Salmon. We are very close in age and EVERY SINGLE TIME she contacts me I think "If we had grown up together, we would have been great friends."

When something incredibly yucky crossed my path, another cousin, Sheila, was the first to contact me and let me know that I mattered. I still have that email and read it when my heart needs a boost.

I find myself drawn to my cousins, my uncle and my aunt. I keep abreast of happenings with my cousins on facebook and my aunt emails me regularly.

The other day I got an email from Aunt Alice. It was titled "sweaters".  I assumed it was another forwarded message that Alice likes to send. You know...warm, fuzzy, inspirational... The kind that if you don't forward in FIVE MINUTES, horribly rotten things will come your way.

Imagine my surprise when I opened the attachment and it was a photo of two chickens wearing knitted sweaters. Aunt Alice had made sweaters for her chickens.

I shook my head in wonderment. Who thinks about making sweaters for their chickens? Who in the world actually MAKES the sweaters? Aunt Alice.

That's my family. I come from a line of warm, caring people...the kind that make sweaters for chickens.

The Great Balancing Act

I now have a job. Yep, I'm a big girl now and work for a company called Studies Weekly. I love it there. Good company. Good people. They make educational magazines for kindergarten through sixth grade. Right now, I am over all of K-2 and four 4th grade states. I put out over 200 magazines a quarter.

I have been freelancing for years now and have created my routine. I work in my family room and my computer faces away from the television. Since I don't love the silence, I keep the tube on for the noise. I usually listen to Law and Order, Dateline, 20/20 or some kind of show that consists mostly of talking. I get distracted by comedies and I have a difficult time listening to music while I work because I find myself singing along and not getting a dang thing done. So, a plethora of murder mysteries it is.

Mark swears I am going to turn into a serial killer because I have listened to so many programs on homicide. He's probably right. I definitely know what NOT to do when I decide to go on my killing spree.

At work, there are 6 of us in the room feverishly developing the magazines. It can be terribly quiet. I plug in my ear buds, pull up Netflix and listen to Law and Order. It's just like home! I don't need to watch the program to know what is going on. It's perfect for me and makes the time FLY.

Today I had in my trusty ear phones and was listening to Law and Order. This episode was a whodunnit involving a child. At the end, one of the officers was in the hospital room reading "Oh the Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss.

I've heard snippets of this book. Most of the quotes are in a graduation speech. We've all heard it time and time again. It usually involves the Valedictorian detailing the opportunities that are just waiting for the graduating class to grasp. This time I heard something different.

This is what gave me pause:

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step,
Step with care and great tact.
And remember that
life's a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

I've discovered that the road to happiness isn't a straight shot for any of us. We find ourselves in dark places surrounded by strange birds and at times, all of our focus is directed toward simply keeping our feet on the path.

It can be really, really, REALLY hard, can't it?

My friend said to me the other day. "Sometimes, I wonder what all this is about."

Sometimes I wonder, too.

I think Dr. Seuss got it right when he said:

But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

The wolf you feed

I previously mentioned that our friend, Christian, was in a terrible car accident on Shelby's birthday. Christians mother does periodic updates on facebook to keep the masses informed of the progress of our dear friend. A few weeks ago Shelby had to do a short speech for her Public Speaking class at UVU. She went back to the posts on the Believe in CT facebook page to find the following story:

Upon today’s 5th floor departure, one of our favorite nurses, who knew of Christian’s obsession with wolves, shared the following Cherokee story about two wolves. It offers a message to consider.
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil—he is fear, sorrow, anger, envy, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good—he is hope, joy, peace, love, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you—and inside every person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

I heard her upstairs practicing over and over to Daulton to make sure she had it just right. Of course Shelby ROCKED the presentation. Because I could hear the story over and over, it hasn't left my mind, so I thought I would write about it.

While my brain was processing the story and my available time was trying to find an opening, my friend, Laurie, called me in tears.

Laurie had eye surgery a few weeks ago and is having trouble seeing right now. She is angry and frustrated. It's complicated (as if not being able to see isn't enough) this all comes after quite a few years of not being able to drive due to the fact that her little body has been racked with seizures. We went to Boston and she was able to see the LEADING AUTHORITY on her types of seizures and, guess what? No more seizures for my dear friend. 

I can count on one hand how many times Laurie has called me in tears directed at her frustrations with her physical health. Oh, she has cried about husbands and daughters and pets and anger mixed with confusion over the selfishness of others, but rarely does she have a pity party.

I wouldn't really call it a pity party, I guess. It's well deserved. Did I mention that she has Marfan's? For those that have no idea what that is (I was one of those) Pub Med Health states that:

Marfan syndrome is a disorder of connective tissue, the tissue that strengthens the body's structures.

In a short, not so medical synopsis, the arteries that lead to her heart have problems, her eyes have problems. She explained to to me once that all of her arteries and vessels are like rubber bands.  As they work and are used, they become stretched and can easily burst.

So Laurie is frustrated. And angry. She works very hard to be independent and the fact that she has to ask for everything she needs is driving her crazy.

I related this story to her.

It's always interesting to me to have to step out of my own crap for a minute and focus of the needs of somebody else. This was one of those moments. I stepped out of my box and took a look at what I am guilty of. What wolf have I been feeding?

I made a vow that morning that I would quit allowing evil into my life and feeding the insecurities that plague me. That wolf can wither and die. I choose the good fight. The good wolf. 

My Website

I did it! I did it! I did it!

www.graphicsontheflipside.com

I have worked and studied and questioned and rented books and searched websites and researched and got mad and cried. But it's done.

By NO MEANS am I a master at web design, but my foot is now officially in the door.

I'm moving on to another site for my pictures and one more for Mark's new bike shop. Oh boy. Wish me luck.

Welcome Home

I think I have established that for Christmas I design sweatshirts for the family and then create a movie to refresh our memories of the past year. This year was no different.

Somewhere along the design road I have developed a "theme" to follow while creating the movie and the sweatshirts. I usually have a reason for my thinking and this year was no different.

It goes as follows:

My family is growing and changing and moving on. I have worked really, really, REALLY hard to always provide them a safe place to land. I WANT them to want to be home. I want their friends to ALWAYS be able to walk in and feel like they are home. And the desire continues on. Now I have the desire to make sure my extended grandkids as well as my own grandbabies know that when they need love, comfort, security, a warm meal, or bubblegum that they find themselves on my doorstep.

That was the driving force behind Christmas this year. Home. We have a good one.

Enjoy...

Our Sweatshirts:

Right Sleeve:

The Evil Among Us

I'm watching the news. I've been sitting here all day. I'm stunned that another human being could walk into a school, a theater, a mall and aim a gun at the innocent.

I'm disgusted that we do this to ourselves. It's not rocket science. Be nice to those you meet. Don't judge. Don't bully. Don't retaliate when you are hurt.  Remember the most important commandment?

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. [Matthew 7:12]  

Maybe we all need to take a look at our moral compass and see what we stand for. According to Wikipedia, Malcolm X is the guy to say, "Stand for something or you will fall for anything."

Steel yourself to stand for good.