About Becky

My cousin is dying. I'm not kidding. She has cancer about everywhere you can have cancer. Her liver is failing. Her kidneys are failing. Her body is failing.

Becky and I were never real close growing up. I don't know how old Becky is, but I do know she is quite a bit younger than I. I remember when she was born. I remember holding her as a baby. I remember her playing in her house when we would visit.

After I got married, I heard once or twice about her, but I didn't go to her graduation. I wasn't there 15 years ago when her son was born. I didn't celebrate her marriage nor mourn her divorce. Would it be horrible for me to say that she just never played a significant role in my life? It sounds so crass, doesn't it?

I'm closer in age to Becky's older sister, Jennifer. I remember playing with her when I was younger. Jennifer is 4 years younger than I am, so we had more in common. She probably doesn't know it, but I always thought of her as my pretty cousin. She was more girly than I ever was. I remember being envious because my Aunt Sue made these really cute dolls and Jen had plenty of them. I always thought it was so cool that Sue would do that for Jen.

Of course, time, life, husband and kids got in the way and I haven't kept contact with my family like I should have.

I'm mad that I have done that. I'm disappointed in myself - in my actions and I want DESPERATELY to turn back the clock and have a do-over.

I would tell my Aunt Sue just how wonderful I think she is. I would tell my Uncle John that I always knew he loved me because he would tease and harass me - and that made me feel special. I would tell Jennifer that she is one of the most beautiful human beings that I know. I would be close with the cousins I vaguely remember and they would each know that I love them. And I would spend time getting to know them and letting them know me and my family.

I have been blessed with wonderful family. I have Aunts and Uncles that warm my heart. I have cousins that are more like siblings. I don't share the same blood with them. But, I assure you, I would give my blood to them. And I would do ANYTHING to take the pain away from Becky and her family.